A Series of Unfortunate Events

**Warning: Not only is this a poop story, it is a poop story that goes terribly wrong.  If you are queasy, just had a big, delicious meal, or otherwise just can't stomach a story about feces right now, just stop here.

It all started innocently enough.  Avery requested to rock, so we were snuggled up in the recliner checking out The Wheels on the Bus on my phone.  I heard what I hoped was a "toot," but the smell that followed was a tad stronger than toot smell.  I yelled for Ned to bring down wipes so we wouldn't have to go upstairs so close to bedtime.  Avery and I continued snuggling.

All was well, until Avery s.l.i.d. out of my lap and down the recliner.  That's when I saw it.  There had been a breach in our up&up, and bad things were happening.  I stood up to check myself, and Ned let out a terrible moan.  Yes, the Lazy Boy had been hit. 

I choose to clean the chair while Ned cleaned Avery upstairs.  He determined that he couldn't carry the wipes and Avery, so I suggested she walk.  Big mistake.  Big.  Huge.  Two steps became contaminated before I could get the wipes and Ned could scoop Avery up.  I was very full from dinner and not handling things too well at this point.  Ned decided to go ahead and bathe Avery, who was very upset by this point.  I headed back to tackle the steps AND chair.  I made it down two before realizing that Sammy had cleaned the steps for me.  I'll leave it at that.

I had to sit down at that point.  On a clean step, of course.  Meanwhile, Ned had put Avery in the tub to hose off before realizing we aren't in our old house and don't have a spray nozzle in the tub.  The bath was not a clean place there for a minute.

An hour later, Avery is clean and in bed.  We've all had a good laugh and the house seems poop-free.  Ned has gone to drill, and I'm baking a cake and preparing to try homemade icing.  All's well that ends well, especially when it ends with cake.